supernutjapan (supernutjapan) wrote,

Rewatching 1-16 Shadow

Calming down after our first episode of Season 9, here are my thoughts and comments on Shadow - way back at Season 1 Episode 16. The story itself is dark and not as exciting as some others I can think of. However, this is a pivotal and important episode: 1) John finally appears to the boys and they are together again - if for a short time, 2) they finally get a lead on the yellow eyed demon- although it is a trap, and 3) we get to find out Sam and Dean's feelings about hunting and particularly Dean's feelings about his family/Sam. Dean and Sam both hold to the feelings mentioned in this episode all through to the end of Season 8. It is one of the constants of the show, and a tough one for me. Everytime I watch this episode I get depressed for Dean - which is why it is not one of my favorites - I've found I tend to avoid situations where there is painful emotion involved, just because it is tough, and I am a coward. But this is where I understand how Sam feels. It is something I have to wade through, in hopes of the light at the end.

Music Links(please click with CTRL for separate window):
You Got Your Hooks in Me by Little Charlie and the Nightcats(the song Meredith is listening to on her iPod)
Pictures of Me by The Vue (at the Firehead Bar, when Dean hits on the bartender and Sam spots Meg again)
The New World by X(at the bar while Meg and Sam are talking)

We start the episode with a monster getting an innocent - as usual. The monster is only shown as a big shadow with long hooked fingers, sort of like the striga in Something Wicked.

It rips the poor girl to shreds (which we thankfully do not see). Seeing the article in the paper, Sam is sure this is their sort of gig and convinces Dean to go and check it out. It seems he also convinces Dean to dress up as alarm company employees. One thing about this episode despite it being dark and bloody and sad is it has innumerable small humorous moments for comic relief. They do not do much to aleviate the dark feeling we get from the content, but they do a little. This is one of those scenes.

our town, you were good, it was cute
"I’ve gotta say Dad and me did just fine without these stupid costumes. I feel like a high school drama dork. What was that play that you did? What was it – Our Town. Yeah, you were good, it was cute."

The jab about the uniforms is cute, but the mention of Sam's play gives a warm fuzzy feeling and a small pang in the chest - Dean went to Sam's highschool play... Here he is teasing Sam, but in a rewatch we can really get the feeling of his love for him - because we know what kind of life they had.

The humor doesn't stop. They go to see the room and the manager has a sarcastic comment that I thought quite funny: "Your alarm is as useful as boobs on a man."

And Dean, when asked by Sam what he found out at the police station:
she's a sagitarious
"...the charming, perky officer of the law... she loooooves tequila... and oh, she's got this little tatoo..." (Real helpful info there Dean)

However we find out Dean is not just thinking with his downstairs brain soon enough when he tapes together our Zoroastrian Symbol from splatters of blood on the carpet. How awesome is that? He may not like reading much, but he's sure a smart guy.
ever seen
(short definition of symbol at Superwiki:

At the bar where the killed girl had been working, again a cute scene of brotherly banter.

that you would think that
"Did you get anything? Besides her number?"

I'm a professional I'm offended
"Dude, I’m a professional. I’m offended that you would think that."


the bartenders phone number
Don't be fooled by this. Dean loves the girls, but this is also his way of getting information. We will see later that his contact with the perky police officer comes in handy as well.
The phone number turns out to be the only "successful intel we’ve scored so far" until Sam sees Meg.
Meg not only ignores Dean, but is rude to him when introduced. If that's not enough to get Sam suspicious (Dean sure is!) the fact that he is meeting this random person here at the bar where the dead girl had worked is. He asks Dean (who won't shut up) to check her out while Sam... well... "lurks."

how did you figure that out

Their conversation on the phone is interesting - showing as I mentioned before, that Dean may not like reading much but knows how to get necessary info and is just as good at research as Sam. He is still in the teasing mood though. By the way - these boys sure like the phrase, "bite me." Sam uses it here to his brother, but we just heard Dean use it to the angels in 9-1, and they sure use it alot in seasons in between. (Next rewatch - I should count them)

you are lurking
"Bite her... Don't leave teeth marks though."

Well, Sam ends up finding out what Meg wants him to(Meg is connected to the demon), and Dean also conveniently finds out - from his "contact" at the police department- that the victims are from Laurence and they both come home for a syncronized, "Dude, I've got to talk to you."

Sam sounds quite excited to have a real lead and Dean is quiet.
I guess we should just expect
SAM: ...You nervous?
DEAN: No. Why, are you?
SAM: No. No way.
(Right guys...)

Sam starts babbling maybe, out of excitement... "What if this whole thing was over tonight? I'd sleep for a month... go back to school..."
DEAN: You wanna go back to school?
SAM: Yeah, once we’re done huntin’ the thing.
go back to school
DEAN: Huh.

Sounds like Dean maybe thought (or hoped) that after all their time together Sam would want to stay and hunt with him - instead of going back to school.

SAM: I mean, what are you gonna do when it’s all over?
DEAN: It’s never gonna be over. There’s gonna be others. There’s always gonna be somethin’ to hunt.
(strapping on his knife belt - always the professional)

SAM: But there’s got to be somethin’ that you want for yourself—
DEAN: Yeah, I don’t want you to leave the second this thing’s over, Sam.
SAM: Dude, what’s your problem?

why do you think
DEAN: Why do you think I drag you everywhere? Huh? I mean, why do you think I came and got you at Stanford in the first place? (The mention of "dragging him everywhere" - maybe a reaction to what Meg said?)
SAM: ‘Cause Dad was in trouble. ‘Cause you wanted to find the thing that killed Mom.
you, me and dad

DEAN: Yes, that, but it’s more than that, man. You and me and Dad—I mean, I want us….I want us to be together again. I want us to be a family again.
SAM: Dean, we are a family. I’d do anything for you. But things will never be the way they were before.

I want us to be a family again
DEAN: Could be.

I don't want them to be
SAM: I don’t want them to be. I'm not gonna live this life forever. Dean, when this is all over, you’re gonna have to let me go my own way.

I'm not going to live this life for ever

This conversation reminds me of all those episodes we've already seen. The pilot where Dean came to get Sam - the longing we saw in him even then, to be with his brother - not only to be with him but to do what they did so well together - hunt. Remember those words: "I can't do this alone." "Yes, you can." "...I don't want to." But also his love for Sam - his acceptance if Sam decided to go back to his normal life rather than continue hunting with him, even then. I am reminded of Route 666, where Sam sees the life they could lead if only they could give up on the hunt - which is for him only revenge. I see now that those well-remembered words by Sam, "I miss conversations..." is not only his own longing but hinting a different life to Dean - Sam's last question and Dean's answer are also a hint of what was to come in this episode... I am reminded of the fight between Sam and Dad (mentioned in Bugs and in Skin) which tore the family apart in Deans eyes. It is almost like what a child would feel seeing one parent leave. Dean loves the life as it was and he wants to bring Sam back so they could go back to the good-old-days. Sam - like a parent, tells Dean that things are never going to be the same. Dean will have to let him go. The pain seen in those expressions by Dean... Especially the last, like he is saying, "I don't want to believe that. Do you really want to leave me?" Ouch...

We see a similar conversation again in Season 8-3 Heartache. Even knowing Sam loves his brother and would, as he said, "do anything" for him, the fact is that they do not have the same passion for the job, that even 7 years later Sam is still struggling to get to the light at the end of the tunnel - complete the mission - while Dean is just at his best driving down crazy street with Sam.

But we must go on. At the warehouse, they find that the whole thing had been a setup... not for them, but for dad. What does Dean feel here - after he called dad and told him to come? Sam shows his horror on his face:

Dean fakes cool and tells Meg there is no way dad would come. Well, he at least half believes it because dad had never come before when they called, why should he now? But they don't know what we know... that dad did come when Dean phoned him during the Home episode. And Meg knows this important fact. "He has one weakness - you."

smile dean and meg
I love that defiant smile of Dean's.

All this time, they both have knives and are working on their ropes. These boys are really something.
Meg notices Dean's knife but the distraction helps Sam get his ropes off and destroy the daeva conjuring spell.

Getting back to the motel after their ordeal, they have a surprise waiting for them.
"Hey Boys"

As (stir_of_echoes mentions in her comment for the poll, the boys' reaction here is priceless. Dean looks relieved to see dad is ok.
Dean sees dad

Sam is hesitant to come near - reminded of the fight they had had.
Sam sees dad

When Dean tells dad about the trap, dad says with a little smile, "I thought it might have been."
But he came anyway... He had to see that his boys got out alright.
He confirms that the girl who made the swan dive was indeed the bad guy and gets a syncronized,
yes sir
"Yes, Sir"

Sam and dad never apologize to each other but they hug and as they do, we see tears in Sam's eyes as well as in John's: tears of love and relief.

The reunion is cut short by the daevas sent by Meg - whom the boys probably did not know was a demon. Otherwise they would know that a fall from a building would not kill her. I guess they assumed she was a human who had demon connections. She never uses her powers in front of them. She gets the daevas to do it for her.

Sam thinks quickly while Dad and Dean scream in agony, and they somehow get away.

As they leave, Sam urges dad to come with them, but after the run in with the daevas, Dean is certain that Dad was right.
Sam listen to me
"Sam, listen to me!"

He convinces Sam that they need to go their separate ways in order to keep dad safe. And I guess dad's words clinch it. "Sammy, this fight is just starting. And we are all gonna have a part to play."
While dad says these words, we see Dean biting his lip in the foreground. Obviously he is not happy with letting dad go either, and he feels Sam's pain.

be careful boys
As dad gets into his car, he says quietly, "Be careful, boys."

be careful boys2
We see them, two grown men watching their beloved father leaving them - again. Sam a little defiant, Dean hurting.
In car at end
And they are on their way again.


* If you missed the poll and feel you have an idea of how you would rate it, or would like to check out the results/comments, click HERE

Location - Chicago, Illinois
Clothing: Season 1 by hells_half_acre

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Tags: 1-16, little charlie and the nightcats, pictures of me, shadow, the new world, the vue, x, you got your hooks in me, zoroastrian symbol
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